Welcome to the update archives, where you'll see the dryest, most boring, possibly deranged updates you can expect from someone performing this kind of undertacking. Enjoy perusing the past!
24/12/24 It's a Christmas miracle - a Christmas game that isn't just good, it has one of the most solid foundations of any third party platformer I've played in recent memory. Take a look at my review of Santa Claus Jr. Advance!.
05/12/24 Oh, I hope none of you are Madden fans, because this is not going to be pretty. This week, it's Madden 2002.
18/11/24 Sometimes, I wonder why we don't get more video game adaptations of the Lord of the Rings books. Games like Fellowship of the Ring tell me why the Peter Jackson era games have stuck around in the public consciousness.
11/11/24 Hey, at least it's not a generic platformer this time!... I just wish I had better things to say. This week, it's Kao The Kangaroo!
07/10/24 Man, a game that's hideously ugly, AND plays like slugs infected by moulasses? What a treat... This week, it's Van Helsing!
07/10/24 Sorry for the delay! This week, I'm taking a look at Blender Bros., a SNES-esque platformer that despite it's beauty, failed to make any major impression on me.
14/08/24 Stuntman for the PS2 was one of the very first games I played on the console - and I'm to learn that the GBA 'demake'/port is even better!?
05/08/24 You know, I had hope that Shrek, one of the biggest animated franchises of all time, would have high quality titles. You can't fault me for being an optimist, right? This week, it's Shrek: Swamp Kart Speedway, and ooooooooh boy.
23/07/24 Where am I in my my life when the fact I'm not playing a platformer for this website makes me jump for joy? Either way, Danny Phantom: The Ultimate Enemy manages to make the most of it's rather basic foundations.
1/07/24 Woe - Urban Yeti be upon thee.
27/05/24 Early contender for surprise of the year? Who'd a think Eragon - ERAGON - is the one of the least shovelware movie tie-ins I've played yet!?
6/05/24 Let's ignore that we're a few days past May the 4th, okay? Maybe we should focus on the fact that Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles may have some of the worst platforming on the GBA.
29/04/24 It's established that I do love me some good 'ol dungeon crawling action, and despite it's focus on old school homages, Mazes of Fate probablys ranks amongst the best on GBA!
15/04/24 Wrestlemania XL - one of the best of all time - has passed us by, so what better time to check out one of the few wrestling games on the GBA?... No, it's doesn't measure up to Wrestlemania XL...
01/04/24 Happy Easter! To mark this most auspicious of occasians, we're taking a look at one of the very few, tangentially related titles for the GBA... VeggieTales: Larry-Boy and the Bad Apple! Enjoy!
04/03/24 I dunno where Scooby-Doo could be, but I really hope he's not in Scooby-Doo and the Cyber Chase. That'd be real bad...
04/03/24 Behold! Golf! With a terrible name! I've got nothing wittier to say, but you should check out my review of ESPN Final Round Golf 2002 anyways!
26/02/24 Do you like Skeletor? Bad audio clips? The classic, 'Heyeahyeahyeah' meme video, featuirng He-Man? Well, you'll still probably not like Power of Grayskull, but you may enjoy my review!
14/02/24 It's Valentine's Day, and what better way to mark this most romantic of occasians then one of the seemingly few dating sims present on the GBA, and possibly it's oldest fan translation, Love Hina Advance!
28/01/24 Y'know, one of the perks of playing some of these genuinely terrible games is the review takes longer then playing the entire game. This week, we're takinga look at a game shorter then the movie it's based of off, Rugrats: Go Wild!
18/01/24 While awaiting the next installment in the Game Boy Abyss, why don't you join me in taking a look at 2023 as a whole?
18/01/24 Sometimes, even mediocrity should be celebrated. This week, it's That's So Raven!
09/01/24 The thing about an Abyss... there's always a bottom. I'm still looking for it, but I think Bratz is probably somewhere down there.
03/01/24 It's the first review of the year, and what better way to kick things off then one of the games of all time - Yu-Gi-Oh: Dungeon Dice Monsters. I don't get funny 'till February, by the way.
24/12/23 I was running late with my Christmas review this year, but thankfully, almost Christmas means it isn't Christmas! This week, I tackle one of the very best visual novels on the GBA, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney!
12/12/23 This week, I'm playing a game, based on a movie, I thought was a TV show, actually DID have a TV show, but was a movie first. It's also not very good, but that's beside the matter. This week, I'm playing Minoirty Report: Everybody Runs!
20/11/23 I've never been a huge Jurassic Park - or dinosaurs in general - fan, but hey, could this be the game that turns that all around? Uh, probably not - this week, it's Jurassic Park III: Island Attack!
13/11/23 Halloween might be over, but with Castlevania's fantastic TV show getting a new season in Nocturne... what better time to tackle the first entry in the informal Castlevania Advance trilogy?
31/10/23 It's Halloween, and what better way to spend this (non-Australian) holiday with the king of fright himself - Jack Skellington! This week, it's The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King!
19/10/23 Join me for review #50 - one of the games most personal to me, Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
24/09/23 I'm much more of a cat person then a dog person, but Id on't think that has anything to do with how much I dislike Dogz.
24/09/23 I'm currently trapped in the wonderful hell that is Baldur's Gate 3, so what better time to play Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance!
17/09/23 Sometimes, it's simply insane what'll get localized out of Japan for the GBA. This week, it's Pocky and Rocky With Becky.
04/09/23 Why the hell did Frogger get a reboot for the GBA? Seriously. Check out my review here!
27/08/23 Yggdra Union truly is one of the twilight jewels of the Game Boy Advance - and with it, comes one of the most in-depth, genuinely complicated games, let alone SRPGS, on the console. Check out my thoughts!
09/08/23 Oppenheimer was pretty damn good, not gonna lie. Here's a review on one of the only bomb-themed games on the GBA - Bomberman Tournament!
26/07/23 Look, when I said I'd be playing every game, I meant it. Plus, Barbieheimer is upon us. Enjoy the vibes.
26/06/23 So, you're telling me that the creator of XCOM made a hardcore, sci-fi themed strategy RPG for the GBA... and no one bought it OR told me!? Find out how hardcore it is now!
19/06/23 Apologies for the sudden hiatus, but we're back once more, and we're taking a look at Need For Speed Underground! I'm notoriously not a fan of racing games, but could be this be the one to break through my preconceptions?
11/05/23 It's game #40 on the Game Boy Abyss, and to celebrate the release of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, we'll be taking a look at one of the best games for the GBA - The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap! Check it out!
24/04/23 This week, it's time to meet the muppets as I take a look at quite possibly the shortest game on the GBA... The Muppets: On With The Show!
17/04/23 They... They made a Samurai Jack metroidvania for the GBA? HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD ABOUT THIS!?
03/04/23 It's time for Shrek... What, one of the myriad Shrek games on the GBA? Screw that, we're taking a look at Shrek The Movie, for the Game Boy Advance Video!
27/03/23 Who loves to play terrible games and write about them like shit? GAME BOY MITCH! Today's review is Spongebob SquarePants: SuperSponge!
20/03/23 Mega Man is just one of those franchises that has such a killer look, but I've barely touched the franchise beyond some of the originals. So the question is, how does Mega Man Zero change things up?
6/03/23 We've finally, FINALLY, got GBA games on the Switch, so what better time to check out one of the GBA's launch titles? It's Kururin time, baby!
20/02/22 Oh god, why do I keep playing such terrible games? Kong of Atlantis is... Just read my crappy review. It's not my best work.
13/02/22 Not everything that glitters is gold. Or is, uh, good. Kill.Switch review, go read, if you'd please.
30/01/22 And we're back from my break, and we're starting with something short and sweet; Power Rangers Time Force!
27/12/22 I wish that we had better Christmas games on the GBA. I really do. Here's Elf: The Movie. I'm gonna go take a nap.
19/12/22 For our big game #30, and our second last review of the year, we're taking a look at one of my old favourites - WarioWare: Mega Microgames! Enjoy!
5/12/22 My god, another 2D platformer?! Never seen one of those on the GBA before - this week, it's Gumby Vs. The Astrobots!
21/11/22 Dragon dragon, rock the dragon, DRAGON BALL Z, YEAH!
14/11/22 Closing out this weird sorta-trilogy of Ubisoft games, I took a look at Rayman 3, a title I expected to be just a throwaway handheld version of it's parent title game... but instead, I got an actual successor to the original!? Find out now!
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31/10/22 Happy Halloween! This week, we're taking a look at Shin Megami Tensei! That's spooky, right? Right!? Really should've saved an actual horror game for this, shouldn't I?
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24/10/22 I'm so tired. Here's Planet of the Apes.
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16/10/22 Ah, it might've taken two weeks to wash the stink of E.T out of my mouth, but this week we're tackling an old favourite - The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age!
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03/10/22 Didn't have a whole lot of time this week, so we're taking look at a short and sweet... uh, perhaps short and shite title, E.T: The Extra Terrestrial! Check it out!
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25/09/22 I'm back, and coming with me is a review of Atlantis: The Lost Empire! Atlantis is one of the most 'cult' animated films of all time, but does the GBA adaption have the same qualities? Find out now!
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14/08/22 Time for a short and sweet review of a 'lil old classic puzzler from my child hood: take a look at my review of Bookworm for the Game Boy Advance!
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03/07/22 I am not a man born with a sense of rhythm, but Rhythm Tengoku still might be my favourite game I've found yet in the Game Boy Abyss! Find out the how and why here!
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26/06/22 It's kind of crazy how many incredible games I just had no idea existed on the Game Boy Advance, and I feel Gunstar Super Heroes kind of encapsulates that reality. Check out my full review here!
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12/06/22 Licensed games are the bread and butter down here in the Game Boy Abyss... but does Happy Feet rise above the chaff? Find out here!
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05/06/22 Kirby is a franchise I've never really had much affinity for... but does Kirby and the Amazing Mirror change that? Find out here!
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22/05/22 Dynasty Warriors is pretty my signiture 'gulity pleasure' game, but does me beloved franchise hold up on the GBA? Find out here!
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14/05/22 We're back on schedule! This week, we're taking a look at The Sims: Bustin' Out! Does a more structured, quest placed game design fit The Sims? Find out!
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8/05/22 After an impromptou break, we're back with a blast for the past (roughly) around May the 4th! We're taking a look at Star Wars Trilogy: Apprentice of the Force!
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23/04/22 Of all the games I lined up so far for the Game Boy Abyss project, none had me more excited to replay then Astro Boy. Take a look!
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16/04/22 New review time! This week I'm taking a look at the dissapointing mess that is Pac-Man World, take a look at my suffering!
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02/04/22 Look, I don't need to pitch this to you. I played Crazy Frog like a fool. Go read it. Let me rest.
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27/03/22 : There won't be a new review this week. I've been completley floored by work and a variety of other things that have just left me exhausted. I've been playing a bunch of Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak, but I just don't think I'd be doing the game credit if I played it AND tried to write a meaty review in the next three days. I'll just take this Wednesday off and have one ready the week after! Enjoy that when it comes around!
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23/03/22 : My review of Play Novel: Silent Hill is now live! Read on as I ponder the mysteries of the universe... like why the hell this game actually exists.
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16/03/22 : Check out my review of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers! This is a very sentimental pick for me, considering how The Lord of the Rings shaped me as a crazy weirdo who was - and is - mildly attracted to Viggo Mortenson. Uh, read my review, please. Don't think about what I just said.
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9/03/22 : My review of Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure is now up! This bite-sized adventure genuinely surprised me by it's similarity to it's console counterparts? But does it stack up to size? Hmm? Hmmm???? Go on, read the review, I'm not telling you here.
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2/03/22 : My review of Summon Night: Swordcraft story is now live! It's so nice to play a good game for once. Wonder how long that'll last. I could just play exclusively good games, but where's the fun in that? I'm not looking distressed up there on the banner for no reason, you see!
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23/02/22 : The American Idol review is now avaliable. It took me 34 mintues to beat this game, and a week to write a review. I had to fight to get the energy to deal with this piece of dreck. Enjoy my suffering.
- 16/02/22 : The Finding Nemo review is now up! Enjoy seeing how insane I found this game, and let me know what you think (check the about me page!). I'll be quick to work on the next review, which will be... oh, oh it's going to be something.
- 13/02/22 : Well, the basic form of the website is up, with everything seemingly uniform across all webpages. The link to both the Finding Nemo review is up for both above here and on the Master List, but that was more for testing purposes - the review will be up in a little while! I'm sure there are some kinks I'm going to have to work out, so please let me know (check the about page on how to contact me!) if you notice anything out of wack!